Dear Diary,
today I feel
I don't know anything anymore.
I'm confused. in my mind, there's nothing except a mess.
another day is going to be over. a day with the same feelings.
and once again the feeling of longing encases me slowly. and I just can't escape.
once again I wish he was here, near me. I want him to know, I miss his presence next to me. every second. every minute. every hour. all the time.
I think about it for days, for nights. about the possibility of him and me. of us.
I think about the feasibility of it.
but nevertheless, I don't know how to change our situation. 'cause everything I've done until now, it was always mistaken.
I can't take a step forwards. forwards to him. forwards to us. 'cause I don't want to make a misstep again.
'cause there's always the fear inside me. the fear of losing him. of never seeing him again. of never feeling his heart beats so close again. so close, that I confuse them with mine.
my love, I just want you to know. I love you. I always did.
Love,
Cagla.
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